Angus, a true inspiration in my life.

This is my baby boy. 77 years old, in the doggie perspective, but a puppy at heart. Until his last day – he never stopped behaving as such..

To our horror, late last year Angus contracted an infection that caused him to lose his understanding of the world around him. Including what happened to be in his sight at any moment.

As well, he didn’t seem to know where he was, nor who we were. He knew what and where the food and water bowls are – but that’s about it.
And without any affect – he just seemed lost in a mental abyss..

It was a very sad and scary month while watching, and worrying about him.
The apparent potential for the condition to actually take Angus’s life. This thought just killed me inside (I think, therefore I hurt…).

He had such a rough time in early life. We knew he may have ongoing health problem when we adopted him. But, he was the most loving pup.

Even at 77 he displayed the need to suckle my wrist when he appeared to behave insecurely.  I was told the heart beat may calm him (which means I’m his mommy???? wtf…lol!). No matter,  he’s always my baby, so c

Angus was also skilled at stealing any empty Camp chair – so I bought him his own chair.  =]

Well, after trying steroids, and then a strong antibiotic. The condition finally settled, but with some permanent side effects from neurological damage caused by the unidentified infection.

To make things worse, the identity of the infection was never confirmed as the tests would have cost us several thousand dollars.
Money that we did not have as I was recently laid-off, and we were living on a shoe-string until I found another opportunity in my field.

Cobra health coverage was costing me $1500 a month while job hunting. And with current health issues, we just couldn’t afford an absolute diagnosis of Angus’s condition. Which killed me as a dog ‘parent’. But life costs a lot more money now – so I have to accept and move on…

By the way, below is Angus telling us he wants the camping mat..Now! lol..

It is a deep relationship between us and our dogs, they are like children in the fact that all needs must be handled by the owner. Or the parent. From the owners perspective.

Recently, Angus started displaying a light cough, or asthma symptoms. After taking him to the Vet. he was put back on steroids for his lungs – which he thought was an asthma reaction to one of his allergies.

Turns out it wasn’t. I brought him in again after a couple weeks to have Angus checked again. His breathing didn’t improve on the steroid. And now he’s showing little interest in breakfast.
He usually lives for meals, and he still ate well at dinner time. But he didn’t show the large appetite first thing in the morning, as he usually does

While our veterinarian was checking Angus’s neck and ribs, he paused and looked at us directly to state; “I’m sorry, but I’m not finding anything good here – do you want to know my opinion now, or proceed with blood tests”

Since we’d known our vet. for over 12 years – we respected his opinion, and knew he’d never lead us astray, or communicate anything less than the absolute truth.

Well, it came down to excessive growth of his neck. Mass, or masses were forming around his larynx and throat. He was slowly being choked by his own body, is what it came down to, and we were crushed.

We came in thinking maybe he had a chest infection, or ??? But left knowing Angus would be in breathing distress within a week if we just let it progress. That kind of episode could cause cardiac arrest, or other fatal result, while he’s suffering. And we can’t allow that risk. The only choice we could see was to accept what needed to be done for Angus.

At that moment, we began to give him, and his brother “Buddy” the most lovingly lazy couple of days we could, before our saying goodbye to our oldest puppy boy…

I post this because I will forever miss Angus, as I do all our other dogs that have lived there lives, within ours..

This last Wednesday, October 17th, Angus had to leave us for the age old destination of the “Rainbow Bridge”, to be with his family of brothers and sisters that shared our lives prior to his burrowing in to our hearts back in 2007.

He had lived with a couple of his older siblings before their passing.
But we could tell he’d taken on some of the behaviours and traits passed down through our other dog-kids.
Angus just happened to be a little smarter than the rest of his family – including his parents.
That is, until we caught his clues, and countered some of the  puppy behaviours. Especially those that were not so desirable for his long-term evolution…
Although, some of what happened when we first adopted the little rocker, was pretty darn hilarious – until Angus found my Wife’s closet. =]

Just to clarify, he was named Angus after the great rhythm guitarist; Angus Young, of Ac/Dc.

And for good reason – as a puppy, “Dangus” (Dog Angus) would bob his head when he was jogging around while playing in the house. Stop, look at you with a blank face, lurch back, and then take off bobbin’ around the house again.. until we would catch him.. 😉

Physically his fir was brown like a school boy outfit.  And he actually banged his head when playing with small toys to move them around in his mouth, as if he was singing to their music.
But, we just used the head banging to justify the name.

It is hard to lose those that you care about, or just love so deeply. And, to me. It’s even harder if you’ve never been able to tell them in a language they’d understand, how much they meant to your success and happiness in life.

Dogs have made me a better Human, and probably a better Man in general.

And for that, I thank them all..

So – Angus he was, and is. And in my heart, always will be one of  my Sons (why not, i’m adopted too.. 😉 I look forward to meeting at Rainbow Bridge, when the time comes…

| I’ll love you, and miss you Angus. Thank you for your teachings |

lv!rm

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